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Experience being coached by me in the 30-minute Get Clarity Coaching Session to see what coaching can do for you. While physical pain is sometimes a signal that something is very wrong, this is not exactly the case with emotional pain. You may need to take a pain reliever, change your diet, go see a doctor, have an operation, bandage the hurt part, etc. This means that when you feel anxiety about feeling heartache, and worry about how you are going to make it go away, and try to make plans about how you are going to alter circumstances and situations and people so that you stop feeling pain, stop. “Give me three months” I decided (and may have even said out loud) “and I’ll be out the other side of this situation even stronger than before.” Well, a little like people describe childbirth, I couldn’t have believed how painful things were about to get.The interesting thing is that you do survive it, every time. Perhaps the last time was about a second ago, or perhaps a fairly long time, regardless, put yourself back there for a moment. That is why you do not need to be afraid of emotional pain. Remind yourself that nothing bad will happen if you feel pain, and it will subside after you allow yourself to feel it. I couldn’t have believed it was possible for humans to go survive such a thing, having only heard about it and never actually experienced it for myself. I hope it won’t discourage anyone on this page if I tell you that I still wasn’t better by February, I still wasn’t better by April, and in fact June and July were possibly the darkest months in the whole experience – yes, ALL that time later. But crucially, I was still living under this misconception that I could somehow fast track my recovery by refusing to fall apart.
Now for the specifics of how to tolerate emotional pain. I still had another four hours of university left and the last thing i wanted to do was start crying in the middle of school.
The best way to deal with emotional pain is to feel it, without making it better, because great gifts are on the other side of feeling that pain.
In order to understand exactly what I mean, let’s first look at how we behave when we are in pain.
But i need help, im trying to distract myself but the ego inside of me to talk to him, to need him back is so strong and im having so much trouble controlling it.
I still havent come to terms with everything because he was someone that i trusted so much and i never expected for him to do anything like this too me.
Feeling as if the pain is going to swallow me up, I breathe out. He even got upset that i was going to a club one night.