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03-Jun-2016 02:13

" POLICE #1 While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoelace? Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. " ELDERLY While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop? My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. " It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs." A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not darling? "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." DEATH While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug. " OPINIONS On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother.The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents..." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.

Every email is welcome no matter how many times I've seen it or how grossly offensive it is. In this case, the anti-Muslim crap that you get from those who just want to demonize all Muslims based on the actions of Muslim extremists.The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago! The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. "Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. You guessed it - her share of the lotto winnings...



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